AZHT Joke Thread

[JDMitation]

A married man and his secretary were having a torrid affair. One afternoon they couldn't contain their passion, so they rushed over to her place where they spent the afternoon making passionate love. When they were finished, they fell asleep, not waking until 8 o'clock that night.
They got dressed quickly. Then the man asked his secretary to take his shoes outside and rub them on the lawn. Bewildered, she did as he asked, thinking him pretty weird.

The man finally got home and his wife met him at the door. Upset, she asked where he'd been. The man replied, "I can not tell a lie. My secretary and I are having an affair. Today we left work early, went to her place, spent the afternoon making love, and then fell asleep. That's why I'm late."

The wife looked at him, took notice of his shoes, and yelled, "I can see those are grass stains on your shoes. YOU LIAR! You've been playing golf again, haven't you?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house.
He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure.

She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.

Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone.

But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion.

He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke in the morning with the feel of pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."

"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about."

He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."

In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end.

Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

[1 point 6]

The man came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was with another woman.
"No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of gold."

She said she didn't believe him so she called the bar.

"Hello," she said, "I just want to ask one question. My husband claims to have spent the night at your bar and I have one question: "Are your urinals covered in gold?"

To which she heard the bartender said, "Hey, Clarence, I think we found the guy who pissed in your saxophone."

[1 point 6]

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to
a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a deep
breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes
her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department
and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.

The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled and
asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your
hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "It's Keith...............the midget."

[RhdRicheeee]

hahhahhahhhh

[Neebs]

LOL @ the midget.

[2ndGenInteg]

the midget one was great

[2ndGenInteg]

A son and his father were on a fishing trip
The boys father pulled out a cigarette and began to smoke
The son asked his father if he could smoke one as well
The father replied with "can your dick touch your asshole?"
The son said "No"
So the father said "well I guess not then"
A little more time passes and the father opens a beer and began to drink it
The son aksked his father if he could have a drink as well
The father again replied with "can your dick touch your asshole?"
The son again said "No"
And again the father said "well I guess not then"
A little more time passes on and this time the son pulls out some cookies
The father asks "can I have some of your cookies?"
The son says "can your dick touch your asshole?"
The father says "yes"
The son says "well then good, go fuck yourself then cause these are my cookies"

[enigma94]

good ones shaun!

[Cereal_Killer]

One night a man walks into his bedroom holding a sheep under his arm and stands at the foot of his bed staring at his wife.

"this is the Pig i screw when you have a headache" he says.
the wife looks at him and said " Thats a Sheep youhave under your arm you Idiot"

to which the husband replies..." I wasn't talk to you!!!"

[Type - O]

a blond was standed on the side of the road when her old VW bug broke down. she pops the hood to take a look at the engine. shortly there after another blond in a VW bug sees her and pulls over. she asks the first blond whats wrong? she says that shes lost her motor. the other blond says "dont worry, i have a spare in the back"

[enigma94]

^lolz

[honduh_head]

these are good lol

[JdmNateGsr]

lmao for the midget the father and son and the blonds :clap:

[USDM.LOVE]

All are funny. Keep them coming.

[Type - O]

bob and farmer john were driving along a back road when out of no where bob said,
"see that there tree? thats where i first made love"
"oh really?"
ya, it was a magical night, til her mom caught us"
"what did her mom say?!" asked farmer john
"bahaahaa"

[HEADSHOT]

bob and farmer john were driving along a back road when out of no where bob said,
"see that there tree? thats where i first made love"
"oh really?"
ya, it was a magical night, til her mom caught us"
"what did her mom say?!" asked farmer john
"bahaahaa"

what i dont get it???

love the sig dude!

[2ndGenInteg]

That is wrong lol

[2ndGenInteg]

While a man was on an archeological dig in South America he found a lamp. He later on took the lamp back with him to the states and one day decided to rub it. Out popped two genies that said they would give him 3 wishes. All he had to do was whisper it in their ears then go to sleep and the next day they would come true.
So the next day the man woke up and went to open his drawers and within every one he opened he found thousands. He then walked into the leaving room to find naked women everywhere. After seeing that the first two wishes had come true he knew he couldn't wait for the third one to come true. After a little bit the man heard the doorbell.
He answered the door to two men in white suits and white masks. The two men took the man outside and lynched him. The two men then took off there masks and it was the two genies. One genie said to the other "I understand having a lot of money. I understand having a lot of naked women. But what i don't get is why on earth you would want to be hung like a black man?"

[Type - O]

what i dont get it???

love the sig dude!

i dont know how to type sheep lol

[HEADSHOT]

i dont know how to type sheep lol

lol nice!

[-DIPSET-]

how is a women like a condom?
she spends more time in your wallet then on your cock. :tits:

how many women does it take to change a light bulb?
i dont know, the real question is what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen! :tits:

why dont women wear watches?
theres a clock on the stove. :tits:

why do women fake orgasims?
because they think we give a fuck! :clap:

my apologizes to the women on the forum ---all is said in jest!

[AZTEGIFF96]

Guy is in a bar sitting down at the end and he calls for the bartender to line up 7 shots for him. The man begins to take one shot at a time spit it on the floor and grab another. The bartender looks at the man puzzled, who had just spent a good deal of money on those shots. The bartender asks "what, did you not had a good night?" The man replies "Well actually I was driving with my friend and we got lost and turned down a one way street and there was a truck coming towards and one behind and two from each side." The man then stops abruptly and the bartender asks him to carry on. The man says " I told him that if he could get us outta this i'd suck his DICK!" "That Mother Fucker Sure Can Drive!"

[2ndGenInteg]

Guy is in a bar sitting down at the end and he calls for the bartender to line up 7 shots for him. The man begins to take one shot at a time spit it on the floor and grab another. The bartender looks at the man puzzled, who had just spent a good deal of money on those shots. The bartender asks "what, did you not had a good night?" The man replies "Well actually I was driving with my friend and we got lost and turned down a one way street and there was a truck coming towards and one behind and two from each side." The man then stops abruptly and the bartender asks him to carry on. The man says " I told him that if he could get us outta this i'd suck his DICK!" "That Mother Fucker Sure Can Drive!"

hahahahaha fucking great

[honduh_head]

Sentence structure is so important...

The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was a difficult decision because they were both excellent workers. He decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning. Debra came to work the next morning with a horrible hangover from partying most of the night before.

She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The boss approached her and said: "Debra, I've never needed to do this before but I have to lay you or Jack off."

"Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel like shit."*

[Type - O]

a man was sitting in a bar drinking and throwing peanuts in the air for his frog to catch. he would throw them, and everytime th frog would catch them with his 18" tongue. well eventually a lady comes down and sits next to them. she notices the frog but doesnt say anything. well after a few drinks she starts to get a little horny and shes asks, "hey, do you mind if me and your frog have some alone time?". the man replies, "im sorry, but this is a very special frog. where ever he goes i go." the lady a little disappointed shuts up. well after more drinks she is really horny, and says "fine, meet me at me apartment in 30 minutes." man says ok. well 30 minutes later she is naked, legs spread with the frog between...the frog does nothing. she goes, "whats wrong with him?". the man stares and thinks to put a peanut in front of him.....still nothing....he puts the frog a little closer....still nothing. now the woman is irritated and she puts the frog right up to her gine. frog does nothing......"why wont he do anything?!". the man picks up the frog and says to it "am i going to have to show you how to do this again?"

[honduh_head]

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally,
and by hand.



This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you
receive WORK from any of your colleagues, Your boss or anyone else via
any means DO NOT TOUCH IT.



This virus will wipe out your private life completely.



If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on

And take two good friends to the nearest grocery store.
Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE)
Or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER).



Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated
from your system.

[Type - O]

^^^lol

[SpitFireMS]

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son’s house.
She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.

"But you’re naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress? But you’re naked!"

"My husband loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. "It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me."

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home.

He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.

"Needs ironing," he said. "What’s for dinner?"

[honduh_head]

hahaha pwned ^^^

[2ndGenInteg]

hahaha

[AZTEGIFF96]

One day this woman goes to church and she walks up to the father and begins telling him that she has two female parrots that keep reciting the line "we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"

The priest looks at her with bewilderment and then says " I have two male parrots of my own, and I taught them to pray and read the bible." She looks at him with excitement. The she says " Well father what can i do to fix this problem?"

He then says "Bring them over around dinner time tonight and we will put them in a cage together."

She agrees and she says "Ok, I will have them there no later then 7 pm and we can catch up while they are put in the cage with eachother."

She arrives at 7 pm and knocks on his door. He answers and says "Go ahead and put them into the cage while I get us two glasses of wine."

A few moments after, the female parrots recite their famous line "We're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"

The male parrot looks at his brother and says "Holy shit John, put that fucking book away our prayers have been answered!":clap: :tits:

[91zc4door]

this ones not that good ohh well

yo mamma is so fat she walked into wal-mart tripped over k-mart and landed on target :blunt:

[AZTEGIFF96]

this ones not that good ohh well

yo mamma is so fat she walked into wal-mart tripped over k-mart and landed on target :blunt:


haha wow.

[AZTEGIFF96]

A man and his step daughter walk into wal-mart and head for the pharmacy.
The pharmacist asks the man "Is there anything I can help you with?

The father says " Actually there is, I need some birth control for my step daughter."

The pharmacist looks at the man and says " She is only 14 and you allow her to engage in sexual intercourse?"

The man smirks and says, "No it's no big deal, she just lays there like her mom!"

_______
HAHA EWWW!

[Daddy_Digital]

wow, u guys have some good jokes..check mines out..

[Daddy_Digital]

How did Pres. Bush know Iraq had weapons of mass destruction? He had the reciept.

A pirate walks into a bar, and asks for a drink. The bartender notices that he has a steering wheel tied to his testicles. The bar tender asks the pirate WHY DO YOU HAVE A STEERING STRAPED TO YOUR BALLS? The pirate replies, ARRR! ITS DRIVING ME NUTTS!

A koala is smoking a blunt up in a tree. A lizard walks by and says HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING? The koala replies IM SMOKIN A FATTIE. WANT TO JOIN ME? So the lizard crawls up the tree and starts to smoke with the koala. After about 10 blunts later, the lizard says, HEY IM GONNA GO GET A DRINK OF WATER, IM THIRSTY. He tries to get down and falls in the to the river. A alligator happens to be swiming by and safes the lizard. He asks the lizard, ARE YOU OK? WHAT HAPPEND? The lizard explains he was getting high with the koala in the tree. Angry, the gator goes to the tree and screams HEY YOU!! the koala looks and says GODDAM!! HOW MUCH WATER DID YOU DRINK?!

[Daddy_Digital]

Yo mama's teeth are so crooked, it looks like she is throwing up gang signs when she smiles.

[EPthree04]

haha this thread is the shit!

[2ndGenInteg]

fuck yeah we gotta keep it going

[SpitFireMS]

A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?"

She says, "What's that?"

He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."

[SpitFireMS]

A guy can't obtain an erection so he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his penis are broken down and there's nothing he can do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery. The guy asks what the surgery is. The doctor tells him they take the muscles from the base of a baby elephants trunk, insert them in the base of his penis, and hope for the best. The guy says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of never having sex again is even scarier so go ahead. The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about 6 weeks later gives him the go ahead to "try out his new equipment". The guy takes his girlfriend out to dinner. While at dinner he starts feeling an incredible pressure in his pants. It gets incredibly unbearable and he figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants. No sooner does he do this than his penis pops out of his pants, rolls across the table, grabs a dinner roll, and disappears back into his pants. His girlfriend sits in shock for a few moments, then gets a sly look on her face. She says "That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?" With his eyes watering and a painful expression on his face, he says "Probably, but I don't know if I can fit another dinner roll up my ass!".

[SiR Mikey]

Hahahahaha^^

[Type - O]

so a a girl is wanting to get a dress for prom but doesnt have the money so she asks her dad.
"dad i want this dress for prom." the dad looks at it and says, "ok, but only if you suck my dick." the girl was shocked....but really wanted the dress so down she went. when she was done, she said, "dad, why did your cock tast like shit!?" he simply says "your brother wanted to borrow the truck"

[JDMitation]

so a a girl is wanting to get a dress for prom but doesnt have the money so she asks her dad.
"dad i want this dress for prom." the dad looks at it and says, "ok, but only if you suck my dick." the girl was shocked....but really wanted the dress so down she went. when she was done, she said, "dad, why did your cock tast like shit!?" he simply says "your brother wanted to borrow the truck"

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick :boxer:

[NINE7DB7]

I've got an old one...

Theres a bus full of faggets (homesexual males) and a bus full of lesbians (homosexual females), which bus makes it to San Francisco first and why?

ANSWER:

The lesbians, they do 69 the whole way there while the faggets are packing their shit.

[NINE7DB7]

I also have a couple of good but extremely racist jokes... dont want to post because others might be offended and I dont want to be considered 'racist'.

[JDMitation]

U JOKING? azht is one of the most racist sites on the interwebz.

[NINE7DB7]

okay, I'll leave blanks you guys fill them in.

How do you starve a ________?
Hide his foodstamps in his work boots.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a ________?
A pizza can feed a family of four.

[2ndGenInteg]

okay, I'll leave blanks you guys fill them in.

How do you starve a ________?
Hide his foodstamps in his work boots.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a ________?
A pizza can feed a family of four.

lol haha those are great

[stockls tadd]

sorry if i offend the jewish people on here but i'm jewish as well (have a little humor):

Q.Who is the world's best jewish cook?

A: Hitler

[Daddy_Digital]

A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?"

She says, "What's that?"

He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."


lol thats a good one..sometimes i wish it were that easy

[honduh_head]

sorry if i offend the jewish people on here but i'm jewish as well (have a little humor):

Q.Who is the world's best jewish cook?

A: Hitler

hahaha thats fucked up

[93jdm_civic]

:clap: :clap: :tits: :tits: so there is a white guy, a mexican and a asian on a boat. the asian grabs a bag of rice and throws it overboard and says in my country we have to much rice. the mexican grabs a bottle of tequila throws it overboard and says in my country we have to much tequila. the white guy grabs the mexican and the asian and says in my country we have to many of u fuckers and throws them overboard!:tits: :clap:

[AZTEGIFF96]

:clap: :clap: :tits: :tits: so there is a white guy, a mexican and a asian on a boat. the asian grabs a bag of rice and throws it overboard and says in my country we have to much rice. the mexican grabs a bottle of tequila throws it overboard and says in my country we have to much tequila. the white guy grabs the mexican and the asian and says in my country we have to many of u fuckers and throws them overboard!:tits: :clap:

Heard it but still good.
Keep this goin guys.
I have the best jokes haha
:tits:

[HEADSHOT]

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew???







A: pizzas dont scream when you put them in the oven.

[honduh_head]

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew???







A: pizzas dont scream when you put them in the oven.

hahaha omg....

[HEADSHOT]

i tell my jew friend that all the time.


hahahahaha

[enigma94]

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew???







A: pizzas dont scream when you put them in the oven.

HAHAHAH oh man thats so wrong.

[AZTEGIFF96]

i tell my jew friend that all the time.


hahahahaha

Q: How many Jewish people can you fit in a car?

A: As Many as will fit in an ashtray.

[HEADSHOT]

Q: How many Jewish people can you fit in a car?

A: As Many as will fit in an ashtray.

holy fuck dude. that clearly tops mine!!!!

lets get away from the jew jokes before we really piss someone off

[AZTEGIFF96]

No Offense to anyone

Q:Why dont black people celebrate Thanksgiving?










A: Cuz KFC aint open on holidays




Q: What do black guys and an apple have in common?








A: Both look great hanging froma tree.







Q: There is a black guy and a mexican in a car, who's driving?












A: The cops

[Rufus]

A Koala bear is sitting at a bar when a prostitute walks up to him

"Hey would you like to go up to your room" the prostitute says

"Sure" the Koala replies

They head up to the room where they start to get frisky. After eating the prostitute out for awhile the Koala bear gets up and heads out the door

"Hey, where are you going" she asks

"Back to the bar" the Koala states

"Umm, I dodn't think you understand what I am, I'm a prostitue" she replies as the Koala bear shrugs. She opens a dictionary and says "it says right here. "Prostitute" Does sexaul acts in exchange for money"

"Oh I don't think you understand what I am" the Koala says as he thumbs to "k" in the dictionary. "It's says right here: "Koala Bear: Eats Bushes and Leaves".

[tokyospeedpros]

No Offense to anyone

Q:Why dont black people celebrate Thanksgiving?

A: Cuz KFC aint open on holidays


Q: What do black guys and an apple have in common?

A: Both look great hanging froma tree.



Q: There is a black guy and a mexican in a car, who's driving?

A: The cops


I got the Popcorn ready and waiting on this one...

[honduh_head]

lol damn these are getting good !!!!

[DJ NeX]

A Koala bear is sitting at a bar when a prostitute walks up to him

"Hey would you like to go up to your room" the prostitute says

"Sure" the Koala replies

They head up to the room where they start to get frisky. After eating the prostitute out for awhile the Koala bear gets up and heads out the door

"Hey, where are you going" she asks

"Back to the bar" the Koala states

"Umm, I dodn't think you understand what I am, I'm a prostitue" she replies as the Koala bear shrugs. She opens a dictionary and says "it says right here. "Prostitute" Does sexaul acts in exchange for money"

"Oh I don't think you understand what I am" the Koala says as he thumbs to "k" in the dictionary. "It's says right here: "Koala Bear: Eats Bushes and Leaves".

That's classy

[Evil Empire]

A Koala bear is sitting at a bar when a prostitute walks up to him

"Hey would you like to go up to your room" the prostitute says

"Sure" the Koala replies

They head up to the room where they start to get frisky. After eating the prostitute out for awhile the Koala bear gets up and heads out the door

"Hey, where are you going" she asks

"Back to the bar" the Koala states

"Umm, I dodn't think you understand what I am, I'm a prostitue" she replies as the Koala bear shrugs. She opens a dictionary and says "it says right here. "Prostitute" Does sexaul acts in exchange for money"

"Oh I don't think you understand what I am" the Koala says as he thumbs to "k" in the dictionary. "It's says right here: "Koala Bear: Eats Bushes and Leaves".

lolz1

[Rufus]

A preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger congregation
that will pay him more. There is a hush within the
congregation, as he is well liked and no one wants him to leave.



Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the city stands up
and proclaims, "If the preacher stays, I will provide him with a new
Cadillac every year and his wife with A Honda mini-van to transport their
children." The congregation sighs in relief, and applauds.



Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands up and
says, "If the preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary
and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all
his children!" More sighs and loud applause.



Sadie Jones, age 88, stands up and announces with a smile, "If the
Preacher stays, .... I will give him sex!" There is total silence,
The preacher, blushing, asks her, . "Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you
to say that?"



Sadie's 90 year old husband Jake Is now trying to hide,
holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head
from side to side, while his wife replies, "Well, I just asked my husband
how we could help" and he said, "Screw the Preacher!"

[honduh_head]

lol

[enigma94]

ROFL rufus!

[93jdm_civic]

Q: what is a cadillac with 5 N****** in it goin off of a cliff called?





A: a shame a cadillac can fit 6~


Q: whats the american dream?


A: a jew swimming back to africa with a n***** under each arm.



Q: what do u call a bus full of N****** goin off a cliff?


A: a good start



Q: what did god say when he was making people and a black one come out?




A: oh shit i burned one!

[fivesfe]

eh the racist jokes are a lil retarded, but i have one

What do you call a black guy with no arms?

Trustworthy

[Rufus]

I have the worst one, but alas, I cannot share as it's mean.

[Evil Empire]

I have the worst one, but alas, I cannot share as it's mean.

I'll take it as a personal insult if you do not post it.

[stockls tadd]

I have the worst one, but alas, I cannot share as it's mean.

kind of curious cuz i'm sure my dad knows a better one.

[Rufus]

It has to do with Jesus, noses, and a tail. Thats all I can say. I feel like I'm going to Hell just for saying that.

I'm not about putting the the Black man down as I AM half black










..... from the waist down.

[vtecminime]

on this show, the contestants are a brunette, red head, and a blonde.
on this show, the host ask the three ladies one question,
"if your car broke down in the desert, what part of the car would you take with you to survive?" t
the brunette answers: "umm... the front seat, so my feet get tired, i can sit down and rest"
the red head answers: " the back seat, so when im tired, i can sleep"
the blonde answers: " well, the driver side door, so when if gets hot, i can roll down the window."

[vtecminime]

an old couple stops for gas, and they see a gift stand with three indian boys.
the old lady starts talking to them and ask what their names are,

first boy(tallest)-"my name is feather"

lady ask-"how did you get that name"

first boy- when i was born, a feather fell on my head, and thats what the gods wanted me to be named

lady- "thats great."
she goes to the next boy, same question

second boy(tall--ish)- "my name is rose"

lady- (thinking to herself)- wow, how gay is that, ROSE, LOL
ask the same question

second boy- same answer, rose fell on my head...

so, the lady goes to the next boy, who is the shortest out of the group, and ask the same question

third boy(shortest)-- and without hesitation, he yells out, MY NAME IS PIANO

[BADCHKN]

Lol

Why did they event white chocolate?


For black kids can get dirty to....

Sorry if offended anyone...Im a dark brown guy so lol

[EF8]

Two new slogans for Planned Parenthood:

"If he doesnt pull it out, we will."

"Planned Parenthood...Brings out the kid in you."

[JdmNateGsr]

whats the speed limit for having sex?








68 if you hit 69 you'll flip over

[SpitFireMS]

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Protestant Minister are on a cruise. Suddenly the boat begins to sink. The Protestant Minister yells, "Abandon ship! Women and children first!" The Rabbi says, "Screw the children." The Priest then replys, "Do we have time for that?"

--------------------------------------------

A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell. The wife answers.
"Hi, is Tony home?"
"No, Chris, he went to the store."
"Well, do you mind if I wait?"
"No, come on in."
They sit down and the friend says, "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I've ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."
Sara thinks about this for a second and figures, what the hell, a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows him one. He thanks her and promptly throws a hundred bucks on the table.
They sit there a while longer and Chris says, " They are just so beautiful! I've got to see them both. I'll give you another hundred if I could just see them both together."
Sara say what the hell, opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her and throws another hundred bucks on the table and says he can't wait any longer for Tony and leaves.
A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says, "You know, your weird friend Chris came over."
Tony thinks about this for a second and says, "Well, did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

-------------------------------------------------

A young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor. "Young lady," said the doctor, "you're pregnant."

"But that can't be. The only men I've been with are nudists and in our colony we practise sex only with our eyes."

"Well my dear," said the doctor, "someone in that colony is cockeyed."

[Chiodos]

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one.." She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked "is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there." If you're not sure what a 710 is Click Here:


http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r311/94HBpunto/710.jpg

[Zero]

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one.." She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked "is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there." If you're not sure what a 710 is Click Here:


http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r311/94HBpunto/710.jpg

omfg lmao

[Dedspool Superior Tuned]

a senior member walks into the noob infested lounge with a club. what do you think happens?

*bump*

get it!? get it!? :D

[manny 98 ek]

Q. What's faster then a nig running with t.v.?
A. His brother running with your dvd player..

Q.why do black girls wear high heels?
A.so their knuckles don't drag..

Q.what happens when a black guy looks up his family tree?
A. A gorilla shits on his face..

my black homies thought they were funny so everyone should be alright.

[neveragain]

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one.." She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked "is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there." If you're not sure what a 710 is Click Here:


http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r311/94HBpunto/710.jpg

I'm sad to say that took me a minute to get...:smackself:

[BURNSEE]

A guy had been drinking all day and most of the night at his local bar. the bartender says "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight."

Guy replies " Ok , ill be on my way den." guy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.

shit" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face. "damn,damn!" he cries. He looks to the doorway and says to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air, he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame.

He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, Feels better and takes a step out onto the pavement. He falls flat on his face.

" I'm wrecked" he says. He can see his house just a few doors down and crawls to the door, shimmies up the door frame, opens the door then collapses inside.

He takes a look up the stairs and says "No effinchance.". But, he crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door. Again he pulls himself up by the doorframe, takes a step Into the bedroom and falls flat on his face.

I gotta stop drinkin" he says as he drags himself across the floor and into bed.

The next morning his wife comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee. "Get up . Did you have a bit much to drink last night?

Guy says"I did I did. I was pissed. How'd you know?

"The bartender phoned. Yuh left ya wheelchair at the bar again."