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Chiodos
05-03-2007, 10:42 AM
(Actual letter from an Iowa resident sent to his senator)





To: The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224-3254
Washington DC 20510



Dear Senator Harkin:


As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service,

I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department

of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming

an illegal alien and they referred me to you.


My primary reason for wishing to change my status from US Citizen to

illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate

and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions

is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for

five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine

and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal

when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before

everyone figures it out.


Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes

every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of

taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can

apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result

for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency

room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying

premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost

$10,000 a year.


Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would

receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications,

as well as "instate" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the

United States for my son.


Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden

of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance

premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college

age children driving my car.


If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal

(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be

most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.


Your Loyal Constituent,




Donald Ruppert


Burlington, IA

Manga_Spawn
05-03-2007, 10:45 AM
Hahahaha! THATS GREAT!!!

dr@ke
05-03-2007, 10:57 AM
wow

Owens
05-03-2007, 11:05 AM
lol, I've got a bunch of friends that live in Burlington (hell, I was there this morning, lol)


Iowa people are all bored as hell, and we're all penny pinchers. Sounds like a plan though.

teemfedx
05-03-2007, 01:01 PM
i love this letter, i hope the senator really read this, but i know some one in his staff probably just laughed it off...

USDM.LOVE
05-03-2007, 01:21 PM
i love this letter, i hope the senator really read this, but i know some one in his staff probably just laughed it off...

Yeah great letter. You are right, the chance of the senator actually reading it are slim. I once wrote a letter to the gov. it only made it to her secretary.

Type - O
05-03-2007, 01:24 PM
that letter is awesome

Relix
05-03-2007, 01:26 PM
I could have a new car if I didn't need to pay Taxes two of the last five years

91DA9
05-03-2007, 01:28 PM
HAHAHA That's awesome! What this guy should really do is have it posted in a couple local newspapers as an ad, asking that anyone who read it, re-write and send it to the senator. He gets multiples in the mail, and he'll pay attention.

Rufus
05-03-2007, 01:34 PM
If anyone wants to call the creator....

Donald C Ruppert (319) 754-8328 2215 S 13th St, Burlington, IA 52601

anti-ricer
05-03-2007, 01:36 PM
ahaha thats good! call him^^^

Tweeder
05-03-2007, 01:51 PM
LMAO!!! WOW!

Where do you find this shit?

honduh_head
05-03-2007, 02:30 PM
rufus = bestest haxor evar

Rufus
05-03-2007, 03:35 PM
If you guys only knew the shit I do.....

sssmokin05si
05-03-2007, 04:11 PM
Haha the letter was funny, but Rufus swooping on his info = LMAO.

Evil Empire
05-03-2007, 04:33 PM
Illegal immigrants FTW

ILIKETODRIVE
05-03-2007, 04:55 PM
If you guys only knew the shit I do.....

If you guys only knew the SOHC stuff that I do.....:hi: :rflmao:

JDMitation
05-03-2007, 04:59 PM
rufus could i pay u to stalk somebody for me lol

i remember last year me and relix (i think) or maybe enigma94 had a big AZHT Lounge fight about illegal immigration and i look back on it a year later and wonder why i said half the stuff i did. illegals suck. :argue:

Rufus
05-03-2007, 06:30 PM
rufus could i pay u to stalk somebody for me lol



I could stalk joo

:snookems:

JDMitation
05-03-2007, 06:32 PM
I could stalk joo

:snookems:

don't think u want to know how deep the rabbit hole goes ;)

Rufus
05-03-2007, 06:36 PM
don't think u want to know how deep the rabbit hole goes ;)

wowzas

Tom
05-07-2007, 12:05 AM
you all do realize you can pull that info on whitepages.com?
http://www.whitepages.com/9901/log_feature/pers_search_w_email/search/FindPerson?firstname_begins_with=1&firstname=donald&name=ruppert&city_zip=burlington&state_id=IA&default_listing=phone&extra_listing=mixed

Rufus
05-07-2007, 11:48 AM
^^^ hmm not bad young Jedi

..but not how I got it..

Splashystrwbery
05-07-2007, 03:00 PM
hahah im gonna write him a letter!!

Rufus
05-07-2007, 03:32 PM
hahah im gonna write him a letter!!

write him two letters. I recommend these ones..

http://www.thecompanystore.com/HanoverAssets/TCS/product_images/csjk06letter.jpg

Owens
05-07-2007, 04:36 PM
Homemade Burritos

Evil Empire
05-07-2007, 04:40 PM
Homo Buttsecks

Rufus
05-07-2007, 04:45 PM
Hairy Bewty

Evil Empire
05-07-2007, 04:51 PM
Hard Butter