Chuck Norris

[atomicx]

Chuck Norris jokes keep it going if you got any...

I heard chuck norris is suing NBC program Law and Order as copyrights of his left and right legs.

[boostedrex]

http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s142/rhd94teg/post/cna.gif

[ILIKETODRIVE]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v298/AiMThiS/conanvschuck.gif

[NickAtNite]

Here's one!

If you come home to find Chuck Norris doing your wife, it's probably best to go fetch a glass of water and stand there in case Chuck gets thirsty. There ain't no future in any other course of action.

[95CIVICex]

chuck norris just pissed your pants

[95CIVICex]

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?

ans: ALL OF THEM!!

[SweetNuts]

http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com/
(100 more on this page also)
01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
06 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
07 Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
08 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
09 They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
10 A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

[2fst4door]

chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad

[squirms]

Here's one!

If you come home to find Chuck Norris doing your wife, it's probably best to go fetch a glass of water and stand there in case Chuck gets thirsty. There ain't no future in any other course of action.

lol, i really enjoyed that one

[viperbear420]

chuck norris smoked the worlds first blunt and then karate kicked it out of his own mouth

[reuqse]

when chuck norris was born the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap chuck norris

[84b18]

when i was in kuwait i meet chuck norris, he is a rely nice guy

[The Black Skittle]

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

[enigmadsm]

one time chuck norris and superman arm wrestled...The loser had to wear their underwear outside their pants.

[NickAtNite]

One time Chuck Norris uppercutted a zebra, now we have giraffes.

[skar1]

lmao

[ef-9]

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

[LiLinsane]

Chuck Norris can only satisify his manly needs with another man.

[95CIVICex]

Chuck Norris' name in sign language is a middle finger on fire.


[URL="http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com/"]
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

lol

[emgee420]

When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

[01preludepimp]

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's

[EM1CLONE]

Chuck Norris likes long walks on the beach, Barry White music, Harlequin romance novels, songbirds, rainbows, and quiet time with his lady…just before he roundhouse kicks her in the face.

[jdmcivic1]

Here's one!

If you come home to find Chuck Norris doing your wife, it's probably best to go fetch a glass of water and stand there in case Chuck gets thirsty. There ain't no future in any other course of action.

Damn that's was a good one! Even my wife laughed at it

[tacpsi]

the movie: Rambo- first blood was inspired by chuck norris's experiences as a boy scout.

chuck norris can slam a revolving door.

chuck norris eats babies and shits delta force team members,

superman owns a pair of chuck norris pajamas.

for chuck norris pimping is easy.

chuck norris won a staring contest wit medusa.

chuck norris's advice? Grow a beard.


...i have the 400 facts about chuck norris book, i will post more later..

[apSquidFace]

chuck norris smoked the worlds first blunt and then karate kicked it out of his own mouth

he he he he heeeeee you crack me up viper bear! that was a good one!

[EM1CLONE]

Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.

[Jason.AZ1]

the movie: Rambo- first blood was inspired by chuck norris's experiences as a boy scout.

chuck norris can slam a revolving door.

chuck norris eats babies and shits delta force team members,

superman owns a pair of chuck norris pajamas.

for chuck norris pimping is easy.

chuck norris won a staring contest wit medusa.

chuck norris's advice? Grow a beard.


...i have the 400 facts about chuck norris book, i will post more later..

lol

[kylevtec]

The worlds fastest car has 7 gears, 5th, 6th and chuck norris

[Charlee]

Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord


Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.

[kylevtec]

http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/1/16/Chuck_norris_toilet_paper.png/402px-Chuck_norris_toilet_paper.png

[Tweeder]

Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord


Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.

LMAO! best one's so far

[CRX4LIFE]

There was no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, because Chuck Norris lives in Texas.

Lightning never strikes twice in one place, because Chuck Norris is looking for it.

[azbobbybooshay10]

Chuck Norris can divide by Zero. Twice.

[bsleg]

thats funny

[crx88]

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.


:funnypost: that made me :rflmao::lmao::thumbsup:

[DewChrist]

chuck norris eats tomato soup with chop sticks

[ZJARCHER]

chuck norris eats tomato soup with chop sticks

:lmao:

Ohhhh man thats funny!

[ZJARCHER]

Sorry if they've already been said..

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

[Karim23]

They once made CHUCK NORRIS toilet paper but it failed cuz it wouldnt take shit from no one:grin:

[1SIKS2K]

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. :thumbsup:

[crx88]

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. :thumbsup:

Lmao! :thumbsup:

[95CIVICex]

the movie Anaconda was was filmed in Chuck Norris' pants.

[2fnfast]

wow i hope he doen't grade his u know what off,lol funny shit

[Karim23]

did you know that chuck norris doesnt wear a condom, he wears a live rattle snake:bananaman::lmao:

[JDMitation]

did you know that this is chuck norris' finger?

http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s124/metalrader/1218885467407.gif

[tocamivtec]

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse, a horse is hung like Chuck Norris


Who would win in a fight between God and Chuck Norris? Chuck Norris is God

[manny 98 ek]

good shit

[skar1]

i needed a laugh lol

[monsoonseason]

http://www.onereasonwhy.com/images/Chuck-Norris-scares-the-Boogeyman.JPG

[NickAtNite]

^^dont rush, man...youll have 20 soon enough, lol.

[Lostboy54]

What does Chuck Norris call a pile of dead ninjas in his backyard?


Broke back mountain!

[Rufus]

when i was in kuwait i meet chuck norris, he is a rely nice guy

I don't get this one

[00_ek9coupe]

the movie Anaconda was was filmed in Chuck Norris' pants.

this one was too funny

[3RD]

Here's one!

If you come home to find Chuck Norris doing your wife, it's probably best to go fetch a glass of water and stand there in case Chuck gets thirsty. There ain't no future in any other course of action.


DYING OF LAUGHTER OVER HERE!!:rflmao: